The question betwen attraction and love

Love never dies a natural death”

We oftentimes hear couples complain of losing the “spark” in their relationship. Some chalk it up to evolved differences, a slow growing apart, or sheer familiarity. The wave of “deadness” that can submerge a relationship after the first thrilling months or years have caused many couples to lose hope, and even look elsewhere for the excitement of newfound intimacy. 

Why does something so relevant and neccessary,often described “valuable as much as water,if not more” seem to hard to maintain?While it is arguable as to why and how love forms,we can discern how it may start at its most basic form,attraction.


Many believe that attraction is just one, black and white thing, there are many who don’t know how some relationships work within diverse orientations. It leaves room for confusion concerning asexuals, aromantics, and many other underrepresented groups.

Yet,one of the core principles of attraction can be summed up by a graphical representation of it’s fundamental composition:

A pyramid detailing the factor’s of importance

It can as well be classified under different types,such as:

  • Physicall-The desire to non-sexually touch another person
  • Emotional-The desire to be emotionally open with another person
  • Sexual-The desire for possible sexual intercourse with another individual
  • Aesthetical-Appreciating the way another person looks
  • Romantic-The desire for a possible romantic relationship with another individual
  • Even in a stable and flexible relationship,one of the factors of attraction ussualy change,the reason might be a lack of excitement,but what triggers it in the first place?
  • During the initial phases of love, the brain create larger-than-usual amounts of dopamine, the “feel good” neurotransmitter that increases the pleasure you feel in response to rewarding events. So while you will probably always feel good when you see your partner at the end of a long day, seeing them in those dopamine-soaked early days of your relationship will simply feel better than it will later on, when your dopamine levels have returned to their pre-love levels.The reasons as to why wary,from a lack of excitement and “thrill” of the initial stages to some problems that surface once the lovelust settles down.
  • What it means is that if it feels like our fire for our partner has dimmed, it’s not necessarily because we are jerks or taking our relationship for granted…it’s because, scientifically, our brains aren’t wired to maintain that level of initial ardor for the length of an entire relationship.

    Perhaps our partner was with us to avoid lonelyness,perhaps they patched up a flaw within themselves throught us or they might have even used for their own benefit for more malicious ways,but even if that might be true what can change the initial reason,is it connected to the basic rules of attraction and to what extent and what changes over time?

    What ussualy happens after the initial and only reason for wishing to be with someone goes away,without a suitable substitute or a connection leads to a steady but sure downfall,but was it love all along,and does love alone make an inseparable bond that will whitstand the test of time?

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